Selling Saunas In Hell

February 5, 2012

Far beneath the earth where the cursed creatures loom
Beyond the churning, fiery pits and seething seas of doom
Deep in the dank depths of blazing hell
There dwelled a salesmen who sought out to sell
Sell saunas to the sinners and vacations to the vile
Lighters to the lustful with a mere wink and a smile
Hot tubs to the heathen and Lava lamps to the liar
Matches to the miscreants after he set their feet on fire
until one day he became unsatisfied with his fraudulent feats
So he began the journey north in search of cleaner streets (and sheets)
He toiled over the monstrous mountaintops of perpetual pain
and along the endless highways, past the corner of Crazy and Insane
Exhausted and downtrodden, he thought it was quitting time
Then he looked above his head and saw an illuminated, bright red “Exit” sign.


Blue Eyes and The Wolf

February 5, 2012

There once was a pretty girl named blue eyes
She went wandering through the woods seeking clear skies
She stumbled upon a wolf, so melancoly and low
She stopped in her tracks and approached him very slow
“Hey wolf! What’s wrong! Why you in such a funk?”
“I’ve lost my tail. Time to get drunk.”
“Don’t be silly,” said blue eyes, “There’s no reason to fret.”
“I’ll fashion you a new one. You’ll feel better, I bet”
So she weaved rainbows with glitter and honeydew
She plucked stars and tied sparkly bows, too.
“I once saw a unicorn with one just like this.”
And then the wolf was happy and gave her a kiss.
And blue eyes and him could finally exhale.
Fiction? A Fable? No, it’s what we call a “fairy tale”.